Agent Chi reporting on my successful mission against the Dastardly Dan Deficit.
Friday, April 8, 2011 After Dan Deficit's failure to shut the government down through the elected officials and his powerful lobbying he decided to address President Obama directly. Fortunately, his attempts to deliver pizza to the White House after that late night meeting failed, and I was alerted. As I pored over the intelligence reports in my woodpile I discovered that Dan Deficit was planning his confrontation during the Cherry Blossom Parade Saturday Morning. Surveillance of the family beside my wood pile informed me they were planning to attend the parade as well.
Saturday, April 9, 2011 As Marmee prepared the backpacks for the parade I snuck in and hid beneath the boys' change of clothes. Conveniently the back pack contained a small hole, which easily allowed me to keep a watch out for Dan Deficit. It also contained several snacks, which I snacked on as we rode the metro to the parade route. Of course I kept a few tucked in my cheeks for later, but not enough for the humans to notice any missing.
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| Theodore's First Metro Ride |
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| Alvin is not so impressed with the metro. |
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| Marmee did not notice me in her bag. |
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Once the humans settled along the parade route I snuck out and hid in nearby trees for a better view of the route. From my vantage point I was able to see President Obama approaching with Dan Deficit disguised as a clown, sneaking up on the float. I knew it was my job to protect the President, who was accompanied by his wife. I leapt from the tree to the street where I scurried towards the float to warn the President. When he was not responding to my cries I crept towards his feet to give him a little tug on his leg when I realized he was wax!
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| My Hiding Spot in the tree |
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| Wax Obamas |
At first I feared Dan Deficit had created a waxinator, transforming the President to a giant candle, but then realized this was not the real First couple, but the wax mannequins from Madame Tussauds Wax Museum in Washington D.C. I am beginning to think Dan Deficit is more dense than dastardly! He continued to pursue these wax figurines thinking they were the real thing! Bravely, I jumped onto Dan and began biting his ear, he tried to bat me away, but I clung on knocking his clown nose to the ground. We wrestled down the route, people laughed and thought it was part of the show. Crawling into Dan's gigantic clown shoe I prepared to take a bite of his big toe when he kicked and flung the shoe with me inside to the other side of the street. As I struck the pavement I saw acorns and forgot my mission for a moment.
After a moment my senses returned and I scrambled out to see Dan Deficit pushing aside the driver of a car pulling a float. Dan's vehicle accelerated as I hopped onto the float. Carefully I and worked my way into the engine of the vehicle. Once inside I chewed a few wires (receiving only minor shocks) and jumped out as the engine exploded into flames. Dan Deficit was foiled in his plan and I returned to my hiding spot in Marmee's backpack.
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| Dr. Cullen is carrying me now! |
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| Alvin does not always scowl in photographs. |
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| Marmee and Simon enjoy the blossoms, despite a chill in the air. |
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| Simon returning home on the metro. |
With the parade over the family walked around looking at the cherry blossoms. I fell asleep and awoke as we reached the last metro stop. When I returned home I immediately began to monitor the local news, but was pleased to see my mission had gone unnoticed. Below is a report showing the car fire, with no mention of myself or Deficit Dan. I also have included documentation of how close Deficit Dan was to encountering the real President. The very same day President Obama made a surprise visit to the Lincoln Memorial, a very short distance from where I succeeded in throwing Dan Deficit's evil plan in the fire.
http://www.tbd.com/blogs/tbd-latest/2011/04/car-catches-fire-stalls-cherry-blossom-parade-10127.html
http://dcist.com/2011/04/what_shutdown_cherry_blossom_parade.php
http://www.nbcwashington.com/the-scene/events/Obama-Visits-Lincoln2-119574674.html
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